I lied, I am posting

Colin: (Holding a cell phone) Can anyone recognize this?
Doug: Its a cell phone!

Casey (African American): Let's play black jack.
Doug: Is there a white jack?

Random kid: I move to not let him speak.

(Grant is Asian and speaks Mandrian, Cantonese, Japenese, (english obviously), and is learning spanish. He studied piano in Russia and is a freaking genius.)
Sam: Where is Grant?
Me: Remember he is being a ninja and hiding in with the walls.

Colin: What is all of that white stuff on the table?
Me: Meth, I started a a lab in my room.
Cory: You have been here less than 2 days and have already opened a Meth lab?
Me: Yeah, the constitionalists and basketball kids our my biggest buyers but I can hook you guys up with some better deals.

(African American canidate makes a really bad speech.)
Casey: I apologize on behalf of my race because he does not represent me or my brothers.

Me: (Talking to Sam's girl friend on the phone.) Sam tells me you are Jamican.
Abby: What?
Me: Are you Jamaican?
Abby: No
Me: Because you JAMAICAN me crazy!

Erin: I think we should make a bill saying no more Mexicans are allowed in.
Zach (Mexican): Hey?
Erin: Sorry dude, it needs to be done.

Enoch (African American who is campaigning): This is a black and white issue.
Kenan: What are you implying?

Me: I nominate Grant to be our city assassian.

Doug: Do your pancakes taste like donuts.

My Pary platfrom (the highlights):
Enhancement of Midget Culture.
Coast control- (put laser's on the top of llama's heads and floaties around their necks and have them swim to coasts.)
Protect Mexican border- build a moat of gasoline and encourage them to come on over then light it on fire.
State Animal- the state animal shall be the norwall whale.
Forgot all the rest

Note: Our state's governor is Mengaili (sp) prounced "Man-Jelly". He is an annoying constitutionalist.

Short story: So (being elected Health Officer as one of my many jobs) was sitting in a guys room with most of my Town (team) when we have a kid run in and say he pissed off some guys with his laser pointer. (we are staying in a a college dorm) They kept running in and out because aparently a drunk guy was walking around outside and they kept shinning a laser pointer at him. Well I went to go investigate, and I am mnot going to lie it was pretty dang funny. He walked up to the window and we all hid, and then he walked away and we shinned it again. He than began to challenge us to come outside and take him. Well about this time I had gone back into another room and when I go back to check my room (they were shinning the laser pointer our of my room) they were all running out of the room saying the guy was trying to get in. Which wasn't to big of a deal except he wsa drunk and had 300 more pounds of muscle than eye. Well we go back in and check after he leaves, and what else should happen but he urniates through the window into my room and creates a pool of piss on my windowsill. Of course being the good Health Officer I am, I clean it up. College is going to be hilarious is all I have to say.

May I just say that these are the dirtiest old men I have ever been around.

More to come, I am tired.