Proof that school makes you crazy

This has been collecting for a long time in one of my notebooks and I finally took the time to write it all out.

Sub (sort of older): Yeah I wrote the homework wrong yesterday, so you got shafted, but now you don't have as much today.
Student: Did he just say "shafted?"

Student: This lesson has absolutly nothing to do with our homework.
Sub: What class is this?
Student: Triginometry/Pre-Calculus
Sub: Oh, I have been trying to teach you guys Algebra 2.

(When Our Sub let us out early.)
Me: I love it when we get out early, the halls are empty and I can move freely.
Brandon: Yeah, we can frolick and stuff.
(We continue by frolicking through the halls.)

(Dan is going to write on Tiffany.)(I realize that you guys have no idea who these people are.)
Me: Hey don't do that.
(I am pointing but because of my pen it looked liked I flipped him off.)
Brandon: Hey, none of that.
(He hits my hand and pencil.)
Brandon: You made me bleed.
Me: You hit my pencil.
Brandon: You drew blood!
(Spit flies bout of his mouth while talking.)
Casey: So you have to drool?
Me: Next he will be coughing up blood.
(he pretends to do so.)

(At intersection of County line and Quebec.)
My Aunt Tammy driver: Don't honk at the firemen.
(My uncle Ted honks)
Tammy: Now you have to give them money.
Ted: I don't have any money.
(We scramble around for money as the light turns green and he walks across 3 lanes of moving traffic, while we are stopped at a green light.
Ted: Oh no, We don't have any money.
Me: Here is 2 dollars.
(Tammy puts them in the boot as we speed off.)

Ted: I am going to hit you with this pillow everythime you make a wrong turn.
Tammy: Austin is the one giving me directions and he isn't telling me soon enough.
Ted: I don't care, I am still going to hit you.
Tammy: I am driving, we will crash.
Me: Turn left.
(she misses it)
Me: she just missed that turn.
(He beats her with a pillow.)
Tammy: Stop that!
Ted: Your nephew told me to.
Tammy: Why are you listening to him?
Ted: Well YOU obviously don't listen with all the turns you are missing.
(Pillow Beating)
(We continue to have a pillow fight between my aunt, uncle, cousin, me, while my aunt drives around Park Meadows.) I love my family, they are hilarious.

Talking about Ryan driving around in his car, while we stood in my school parking lot.
Me: So he drives all the way down to ACC for class, then all the way back for 7th period, then down to columbine to pick up his girl friend then drives home then they hang out for a little then he drives her home then he drives home, he is putting so many miles on that car a day!
Bethany: And it is such a crappy car.
Rachel(sort of aloof): and such a crappy girlfriend.

Girl Student: There is this freshmen girl who keeps on following and wanting to eat lunch with me, I told her that I had a project to do for 3 days but then she found me yesterday after 3 days and I tried to hint "hey you are a freshmen and I want to sit with my junior friends.
(note: I sit with a group of all girls for lunch.)
Me: According to that rule, I should go find another group to sit with that is closer to my gender.
Jessica: Yeah go sit with the transexuals Austin.
Me: We should get a group of transexuals at our school so they can all sit at one table. That would be so funny.
Shannon: Yes , that is what we should do, bring them all here so we can isolate them and talk about them.

Wow that took a while to write.