I have stopped my emotions and yet they are still subconciously controlling me.

I went blog surfing and found these and it is other people expressing my emotion.

(i think i should put a "pathetic" disclaimer at the top of my page)
I feel like I have less friends every day.
Classmates become casual friends. Then casual friends become good friends. Then best friends.
Casual friends slip back into being just classmates easily. Good friends become acquaintences, and you say hi to them in the halls, and are usually their partners in class.
Best friends become enemies.
So maybe I'm not losing friends, just gaining and losing them at some constant rate.
Or maybe I'm just a loser who writes in an online diary.
d) All of the above.

What have I become?A person who feels so alone,With no one to turn too.What happened to all those poeple who were my friends?Did I turn my back and let them all walk away?Was I not the friend who should have been there everyday?I'm sorry to all of you who are somewhere in the distance,Somehow my life made a turn and I forgot to keep the ones who were important.I let myself let you go,And now I'm living in regret, Regret because of my sorrow.I long for those who really care,But in my search I find only a few who are really there.Those that I thought I'd never lose,Friendships so strong, everything would see us through.But I was wrong.Somewhere between now and then,We grew apart,And now I'm left alone with memories and a broken heart. I wish things could be the same,But there's been too much time and too much change.So I look for new friendships to replace the ones I've lost,But never losing the memories of the challenge that has been faught.